Kill Your Apps

Kill your apps. Go ahead. Double-click your iPhone home button and fling all your apps up. DO IT!! I don’t care.

It’s true that you don’t need to do this to make your iPhone perform better. It’s true that you’ll actually make the CPU work harder and burn more battery if you do. But I still don’t care.

You want to know what really burns battery? Listening to Overcast. Playing any game. Talking on the phone. Having the screen on for 40 minutes while you watch Russian dash cam videos on YouTube. Those things kill battery.

But for some reason, the hill that iOS nerds want to die on is the one about how no one should ever force quit an app because it’s not necessary and it will cause an iOS kitten to suffer and die.

I have a better idea. If you want to improve your life, not just your tech life, delete Facebook. Get it off your iPhone. Never login to it, not on a computer, not an an iPhone, not on anything. Ever.

Believing a falsehood about app flinging kind of pales in comparison to thinking that electing a Russian-involved, lying (and possibly mentally ill), illegitimate president like Trump was a good idea. Facebook is where people go to learn to hate each other and hole up with people who believe anything, especially if it turns them against anyone who isn’t exactly like them.

The downfall of America (and I do believe it will be surpassed by China in global influence, militarily and culturally, by 2030) isn’t solely Facebook’s fault, but it sure helped play a role. Trump and his administration are doing the rest, and you can look to things like Fox News and people like Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh for leading us down the path that led to this idiocracy.

The Facebook app is also horrible on iPhone battery life, by the way.

In terms of tech falsehoods, a lot of geeks are getting mad at people who use the same weak password for everything for force quitting apps on their iPhone. There are a lot worse things to be concerned about.

Besides, as Zac pointed out on Twitter, Apple’s the one who designed this feature:

If it’s really that horrible to kill your apps, why is it possible? Why does everyone discover this feature? WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?!!?

Personally, I close apps that I’m not using in order to have an easily manageable set open that I can quickly flip through and find the one I want. Leaving them all open is a cluttered mess, and if I’m done with an app, it gets to die. I’m the one who has to look at my iPhone, so if it offends your OCD, too bad. I know what I’m doing, and if I lose 5 minutes of battery in an 8 hour day, I doubt I’ll notice.