Silence

I haven’t said much lately. Sorry. Or maybe that’s a good thing. I guess that’s for the reader to decide.

A lot of it has been the usual stuff – work, life, general busyness. Some of it has been deciding to focus more on some learning and development I’m trying to do, rather than spending a lot of time writing for what feels like very little return other than some momentary enjoyment. Not that that enjoyment should not be a primary motivator for writing. It definitely should.

Also I’m going through one of my usual phases of feeling like me saying things on a web site or podcast is kind of immaterial in the grand scheme of things. It’s not like I have anything earth shattering to say. I’d be hard pressed to say I’m educating anyone or changing lives.

On the Haberdashery front, Ronnie and I got into a schedule conflict due to work right after we announced we were going bi-weekly, and now it’s been a month and a half since the last episode. To be quite candid, I just think if you can’t do two one-hour recordings per month, there’s more going on then just busy schedules. I don’t want to do a podcast where it’s just an as-needed therapy session that only benefits the hosts. I’ve had podcasts go that way before, and I’m just not doing it again. It has to be regular based on the schedule we’ve set listener expectations to, or I don’t want to do it. So, will it be back? TBD, I guess.

I still do plan to do a once per month interview podcast called Speaking of That. An interview podcast consisting of myself and a different guest each episode has the potential to either be easier to do regularly, or harder. On the one hand, I have no one’s schedule but my own to worry about so long as I record in advance with guests. On the other hand, people have lives of their own, and guests often cancel or back out. It’s happened on Pocket Sized Podcast in the past, but it was never a huge issue. On this podcast, it’ll mean a delayed episode unless I plan ahead.

The nice thing about Speaking of That is I can call it a series of interviews with a finite lifespan and stop when it seems like it is time to end. It’s ok to do things that don’t last forever, just as it’s great when good podcasts last for years. I’m looking forward to it. There are a lot of interesting people who I want to learn more about and see what makes them the noteworthy and often inspiring people they are.

I tend to worry too much about things I do. If I’m going to write, I want to put something useful out there, but if I were to critique myself, I’d have to say I really haven’t been doing that. If I podcast, I want to try to do it right or not do it at all. So when I go silent, it usually means I have about twenty drafts of things I’m working on, and I’m not happy with any of them. I’m an amateur, folks.

The good news is, it’s not that I’m hiding in a cave, depressed, sad, and lonely. Far from it. It just means I’m trying to figure out what being productive really means for me.