Super Mega Retina Test 3000

One of the terrible things about WordPress (and there are some) is that it does very poorly with retina devices, specifically image display on such screens. This is a problem. People have beautiful iPhones and iPads and… well, there are other smartphone and tablet options, but I’m not calling them beautiful because you can’t make me.

Why this isn’t handled natively by WordPress in 2015, I just cannot fathom. However, there is WP Retina 2x, a plugin that claims to help with this problem. Let’s not even talk about 3x images, because apparently none of the plugin developers realizes that’s a thing. Anyway, I’ve installed this plugin, and now I’m going to upload some images and see if they look better in my iPhone when I visit my illustrious and highly trafficked web site.1

Ok, here goes:


Thank you so much for participating in this test. It really means a lot to me. If it fails, and these still look terrible on iOS, please… send help for me. I’ll need it, because I’ll be beating my head on the desk and yelling about how it’s two THOUSAND and FIFTEEN, and the wonderful folks at WordPress should really stop playing pranks on us like it’s 1995 and just support retina images natively without any effort whatsoever on our parts. Yeah. They really should.

I hate blog posts that end in a question, because they’re just sleazy, slimy attempts to get comments and make the web site look important, but i’m going to end in a question. It won’t make me any slimier than normal, because I don’t have comments enabled here. Please answer me on Twitter instead. I have a twitter thing there, where people often criticize me for posting my homescreen, and then I have to block them because it’s my twitter stream and I’ll tweet what I bloody well like. Ok, sorry. Here’s the question:

If you have a WordPress site and want to be in the modern age instead of scratching out your images on the wall of your cave, how do you address this problem? What’s your solution? Please share, so that I might hop on my stone wheel and ride out of my cave in my mammoth skin suit with my huge BamBam club and join you in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Fifteen. Please.


  1. Do you believe me about the highly trafficked part? Please believe me. I want to believe me.